It is easy to blame the school system for my lack of understanding. They claimed to have the expertise to teach me what I needed to know to be successful in this society. I can now see that there had been some misunderstanding. For some reason, I had understood that the school would teach me the subjects that I needed to understand to be able to apply in my career and be successful. I had come to expect that career and the success.
Imagine my surprise when the career and success did not happen the way I had come to envision it all. I now think that what the school meant to communicate is that 1) the school would only be able to teach some children/students the subjects that would help them in their career and allow them to be successful, and 2) I was not one of those children/students. The school was teaching me to submit to the school system like I would have to submit to the chosen children as employers afterwards.
Silly me, for thinking that the teachers were addressing me. I was allowed to be present while they addressed the chosen children/students. It was not their fault if I did not pick up on their covert signals, and was foolish enough to assume that they were also including me. No, the only time to address me was when they were looking for a fool or scapegoat to take some of their covert hostility out on. Judging from their attacks, being a foolish teacher must be quite a demanding job.
The only way to succeed in doing anything was to teach myself. I had to accept that I did not fit in the school system, but that they could not keep me from graduating. Once again I had misunderstood. Those teachers could keep me from graduating just fine. They had all kinds of tricks up their sleeves. I had to work extremely hard to get close to graduation, and then they pulled the greatest magic trick. They claimed that I had not followed the correct curriculum. Game over.
I could not figure it out. I did not want to start over again, so I kept fighting an uphill battle to graduate. My battle plan was to stay in fool school, but to already steer my career to match my degree that remained ever outside of my reach. To compensate for not having the degree yet – or ever – I needed to teach myself what those teachers refused to: the subject matter. I needed to stay in school, but seek education elsewhere.
The first task that I had to accomplish was to get access to information that could add to my understanding. There was information abound, but little of it made sense to me. I would come to learn that schools teach dis-membered information, and that I needed to figure out the correct picture elsewhere. That was the homework that the chosen ones got. It was up to me to find and re-member the scattered information, instead of the incoherent stories in the mandatory fool books.
The second task was to get understanding. I learned that I needed to understand the information that they wanted me to repeat on exams, and that I needed to understand what information I needed to be successful in my career. It turned out that it was never the same information. I started to apply the information that I learned for my career at exams, and all of a sudden I found myself excelling at school. Not that the teachers cared, they continued to give me low grades. They simply accused me of fraud. “Did you do that yourself?’ Because they definitely were only fooling me. But, without a fair trial, they would simply lower my grades.
It was clear that I had managed to educate myself beyond their schooling. It then became time to understand how to graduate despite them blocking my way. I had to take them to court. I did not care that they kept telling me that I could never win, I was going to find out for myself. It turned out that they had made a ‘mistake’. I should have been allowed to graduate when I had filed the paperwork the first time. They had been fooling me, and I was fool enough to be fooled.
The fooling days are over. I have calculated how much money I have lost on their fool schooling, and I now take them to court to claim it back. Inflation, interest, and all. I will show them what real education allows for. They can keep that career, I prefer to mind my own business.