I sure failed to see through the lie of ownership. I relied on other people to show me how to take hold of trinkets to show success. I did not have the eyes to see the huge piles of debt that their boats were bobbing on. I thought that was the sea! These ‘teachers’ were teaching me to fail. Whenever I would resist their teachings, they would have a go at me. Who the hell did I think I was? No one is too good for debt!
They had the hell part right. I clearly felt that the desire for more left me with less. The desire to own people and things, stood in the way of having healthy relationships. I did not want to live a life of ownership, but a life wherein I could maintain healthy relations. I needed to be in control of myself, and then influence other people. Not by telling them what to do, but by knowing what it is that I had to do. I could still listen to other people, but I was to decide on what I needed to do.
Only those who did not understand how empty ownership is, would seek to own the things. To them another person was only another thing to own. They had no need for healthy relationships. Their take on relationships was submitance and obedience. It is the way all societies are constructed. These powerful psychopaths see human beings as cattle that they deceive into thinking that they can own anything. Slavery is very much still alive. It is just that the slaveholders now allow the middle class – the debt class – to believe that they are free to own. This illusion has been more profitable than clicking on chains and taking out the whip again. They taught us to imprison ourselves.
Even though I worked harder and earned more money on paper, I ended up with less and less. Not only less money, but also fewer friends and less intimacy. As a debt slave I was being molded into the image of the slaveholder, but without the money, the power, and right of ownership. I was turned into an empty shell, and that came with a hefty price: the loss of Self. It was a shock to realize that as long as I looked to get more money, I would continue to be out of touch with myself and other people.
I did not like the effects of my own predatory behaviors, so I had to try to change for the better. Whatever that was. The propaganda on healthy relationships and to ‘heal thyself first’ came from the same psychopaths. There was no warning that I would have to fight off their puppets and robots who would seek to punish me for wanting to do – be – better than them. Whatever that was. The propaganda on doing and being better came from the same psychopaths. There was no healthy relationship to get without money, there was no doing better when having to beg the puppets and robots for money.
To sit in a boat and have it bob on debt will look pretty good when the puppets and robots deny access to any money. No matter that I did not know any other way, the way that they showed me was not for me. I could never fit in with them, and I simply had to accept that. No one wanted to teach me to fit in. Or, if they did try then I failed to get it. What I do get, is that I had to pay a hefty fine to get out some. I worry about how much more I will have to pay, before I finally get out completely. If there is such a thing as getting out completely.
The strings attached have become more clear. As long as I have bills to pay, I will have to pay them to allow myself some comfort. And I know that there will be more, never less, debt traps waiting. I will have to learn to work smarter, as I can no longer allow them to laundry their worthless money into assets through me.